


i will come back to life (but only for you) [au]

by gwencelot



Category: Social Network (2010) RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-08-09
Updated: 2011-08-09
Packaged: 2017-12-20 17:07:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/889751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gwencelot/pseuds/gwencelot
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They fall in love at a fun fair.</p>
            </blockquote>





	i will come back to life (but only for you) [au]

**Author's Note:**

> tsn-kink meme fill. what was supposed to be a short, sweet fic turned into a NEVER ENDING MONSTER. i don't know how this happened but it's so fluffy and i sincerely apologize that i lack the skills to write anything else.

Jesse doesn’t know how he lets himself get into these situations.

Well, okay, maybe he does know. Truth is, he’s a bit of a pushover. So when his mother had insisted that he get a summer job so he could “feed the stray cats outside _himself_ , Jesse Adam, I am not made of money,” he didn’t really put up a fight.

But his ideal job wouldn’t be working at his town’s summer fair. Which he is. At a stall where people have to pop balloons to win a prize, to be exact. Because loud pops near him all day really help with Jesse’s jumpiness and anxiety. He loves his life, really.

He sighs, slipping on his uniform – a simple off blue t-shirt – and makes his way to his stall, past the Ferris wheel and a few food stands. Emma greets him cheerfully – she runs the ring toss booth next to his. Despite their first meeting, in which Jesse was immediately put off by her (“Hey, kid!” she’d yelled, voice unusually raspy. “I see you’re in charge of the balloons. Just so you know, I’ve got a couple balloons over here you might like.”), once she’d found out that he was gay and stopped hitting on him, they’d actually become fast friends.

“Put your happy face on, Eisenberg!” she orders, bustling around to make sure things are set for the day. Jesse grunts and grabs a package of balloons, starts blowing them up with the pump. “We’ve got customers to please!”

The fair-goers start trickling in around 10 am, but Jesse knows it will be crowded before long. He gets a lot of children playing at his booth – it’s almost impossible to miss, and it’s nice to see them at least get a little prize.

A little bit after noon, almost Jesse’s lunch break, he’s counting the money he’s accumulated so far when he hears someone ask, in what is clearly not an American accent, “Hey! How much to play?”

“A dollar a dart,” Jesse says automatically, gesturing at the sign dangling in front of him. He glances up and comes face to face with some guy with ridiculous hair, huge brown eyes, and an even bigger smile.

“Hi!” the guy says again. “I’m Andrew.” And yeah, okay, that’s an English accent. What.

“Why are you British?” Jesse asks, because his mouth has no filter. Instead of looking offended, the guy – Andrew – just laughs.

“Because I am! My family’s vacationing over here for the summer,” he explains, leaning into the booth and still smiling.

“Oh,” Jesse says, forever eloquent. And then, “So how many darts with that be?” Andrew throws his head back and laughs again. Jesse frowns. He doesn’t remember saying anything particularly funny.

“I was hoping for a name in return, but three will be fine,” Andrew grins, pressing three crisp ones into Jesse’s sweaty palm. Jesse stuffs the bills into his pocket and hands the darts to Andrew, mumbling, “Jesse,” and then stands back.

Andrew bites his tongue between his teeth in concentration; one, two, all three darts hit their targets. He turns to Jesse gleefully. Jesse smiles slightly and gestures to the small prizes bucket.

“You can pick out one prize or play again and exchange for a larger one,” he recites, even though Andrew is already pointing excitedly at a stuffed Bambi.

“I didn’t bring much money, or I’d love to play again,” Andrew says as Jesse hands it to him. Their fingers brush briefly and Andrew smiles again. “I have to go, but – it was nice to meet you, Jesse!” there’s sincerity in every word as he waves cheerfully and scampers off. Jesse lets out a breath; Andrew’s presence has come and gone like a hurricane, and he wonders if this is only the eye of the storm.

“Andrew…” he mutters, ignoring Emma’s smirk from beside him.  


~~\---~~

The next day, Andrew comes back at the same time. To say Jesse is surprised would be an understatement.

“Hi, Jesse!” Andrew says cheerfully when he arrives, hair flopping all over the place. “How are you?” Jesse stares at him, blue eyes wide.

“You’re back,” at Andrew’s nod, Jesse continues. “Um. You remembered me.”

“Of course!” Andrew laughs, like it’s a silly thought that he would _ever_ forget Jesse. He wonders at this, turning to look at Emma. She’s dealing with her own customers but she spares a glance at him. She sees Andrew and Jesse swears he sees something twinkle in her eyes. He looks back to see Andrew smiling expectantly.

“Oh! Um, how am I? Well, no different than yesterday… How are, uh, you?” Jesse’s not very good at this conversing with handsome strangers thing.

“Great!” Andrew doesn’t seem fazed by Jesse’s lack of social skills. “Did you know you can buy a season pass here?” he holds up the badge hanging around his neck excitedly.

“I did,” Jesse smiles slightly, looking down, “seeing as I work here and all.”

“Oh, right,” Andrew chuckles as a few young girls approach the stand. He moves over to the side and watches Jesse take their money, hand them darts and a prize afterwards.

“So you plan on coming here a lot?” Jesse asks when the girls leave. Andrew nods and explains that where his family is staying is very close to here and he doesn’t know what else there is in the area.

“And besides, I’ve already made a friend here!” he exclaims, reaching over to touch Jesse’s wrist.

“Who?” Jesse asks, pulling back subconsciously – he’s not really comfortable with being touched. Andrew’s face falls slightly.

“You, of course,” he says, somewhat uncertainly, “I mean, I know we’ve only just met, but I make friends really quickly!” his cheerful demeanor is creeping back in and Jesse feels a warm tingle in his stomach. He stutters pathetically, not knowing what to say; he’s never met anyone as open as Andrew, except maybe Emma who is more blunt than anything.

“I’m, uh, glad you don’t think I’m weird?” Jesse settles on. Andrew tilts his head.

“I do think you’re weird. That’s why I like you!” he glances around and, seeing no approaching customers, asks, “So when do you get out of here?”

Jesse fidgets, eyes darting to Emma and anywhere that isn't Andrew. Andrew is really nice (and cute, his brain supplies helpfully), and maybe he's just curious, but if Jesse's not mistaken, Andrew is going to ask him to hang out. Which, you know, he doesn't really do. He's not the "hang out" type. He just goes home and chills with his cats.

"I have to take care of cats when I get home," Jesse blurts honestly. Instead of being put off, Andrew looks charmed.

"I love cats!" he says, delighted. How is he real. "But that doesn't answer my question."

Jesse doesn’t understand how his awkwardness hasn’t driven away this strange, beautiful person yet.

“Hey, what’s going on over here?” and yeah, that’s Emma’s voice, and that’s just what Jesse needs right now. Not. He glares at her slightly as she stands next to Andrew, beautiful and determined.

“Hello,” Andrew says politely, introducing himself.

“I’m Emma,” the redhead says loudly, reaching over to pull Jesse over the edge of his booth. “Come on, Eisenberg! Time for lunch!”

“It’s your lunch break?” Andrew lights up. Jesse sighs, putting up his “back in 30 minutes or less” sign and nods.

“Wanna join us?” Emma asks, one hand still twisted in Jesse’s shirt to prevent him from escaping. “Usually we eat by the Ferris wheel and go on it after.”

“Sounds great,” Andrew agrees, smiling at Jesse. The trio walk slowly toward their destination, Jesse smack dab in the middle, the other two’s shoulders brushing against his from time to time. Andrew and Emma, unsurprisingly, get on very well, their extroverted chatter a sharp contrast to Jesse’s almost complete silence. Jesse watches the way Andrew’s jaw shifts as he talks, the crinkles near his eyes when he smiles, and the graceful way his movements just seem to flow with fascination, not even noticing they’re outside of Emma and Jesse’s usual place to eat. They give their orders to Emma (pizza for Jesse, a burger for Andrew) and she’s off, leaving the two of them alone.

Jesse’s worried that now it will be awkward, as he’s incapable of carrying on any conversation without making references to old pop culture and being unable to identify new ones, but with Andrew, somehow, it isn’t awkward.

“Do you get, like, discounts and stuff because you work here?” Andrew asks, gesticulating wildly with his hands. He can’t seem to sit still.

“I wish,” Jesse snorts. “Do you get, like, discounts to Harry Potter because you’re British?”

“No, only weekly dinners with the queen,” Andrew says seriously, mouth twitching upwards slightly. “I’m her favorite guest.”

“I’m sure,” Jesse says wryly, looking Andrew up and down. “She can’t get enough of your hipster plaid and uncontrollable hair. Look out, king – Andrew’s moving in on your lady.” Andrew throws his head back and laughs. Jesse smiles to himself as Emma approaches with their food and wonders at how easy this seems.  


~~\---~~

Emma insists that Jesse and Andrew sit next to each other in the Ferris wheel’s compartment; she sits across from them, elbows resting on her knees. Jesse fidgets slightly, trying not to disturb Andrew but he’s really nervous on this ride – especially when they reach the top.

“The view is great from up here!” Andrew marvels, hands pressed to the glass window. He turns to Jesse, excitement fading into concern when he sees Jesse’s hands shaking. “You okay?” he asks. Jesse nods shakily, staring at the floor.

“He’s scared of heights,” Emma explains. Before Andrew can ask, Jesse whispers, “My therapist says it’s important to try and overcome our fears.” Andrew watches him silently for the rest of the ride, fingers twitching restlessly on his thighs.  


~~\---~~

Call him a pessimist, but Jesse is really surprised when Andrew comes back the next day. And the next. And so on.

And joins them for lunch and the Ferris wheel ride. Every day. Jesse wonders if Andrew is only coming for Emma, but at the same time he knows that’s not it – Andrew comes to his booth first, lingers there until Jesse can leave, laughs a little more loudly at Jesse’s jokes… and Emma doesn’t seem to be bothered by this at all. In fact, Jesse’s getting sick of her smug smiles every time he and Andrew are within a foot of each other. He needs to have a talk with this girl.

“I know you like him,” Emma says one day before Andrew arrives. Jesse feigns deafness, plucking at the balloons on the wall. “Jesse.” Silence. “Jesseeee,” Emma drags out his name annoyingly.

“Yes?” he asks innocently, still not looking at her. She huffs and he can tell she’s doing that adorable nose scrunch things that he loves. He peeks over at her quickly to check and yes, she is. She holds his gaze. “Of course I like Andrew,” he says carefully. “He’s very nice.” She stares at him. He stares back.

“Eisenberg, I swear, getting things out of you is harder than hitting a nail into wood,” she sighs.

“That’s a horrible analogy,” Jesse begins laying out darts.

“Stop changing the subject,” Emma sounds genuinely frustrated now and when she touches his arm gently, Jesse gives in.

“Yes, I like him,” he looks at the floor when he speaks, toeing at the rugs. “He keeps coming back even though I’m weird. He made an effort to be friends with me for whatever reason. You know, not many people do that.” Emma makes a small noise in the back of her throat that sounds a lot like sympathy, which is exactly what Jesse doesn’t want.

“Hey guys!” Andrew’s cheerful voice rings behind them, and that’s the end of that.  


~~\---~~

Andrew, Jesse quickly finds out, is a very touchy person when he gets comfortable with people. Apparently he’s very comfortable with Jesse.

There doesn’t seem to be a time when they’re together that Andrew’s arm isn’t brushing against his, or slung around his shoulders; his fingers are constantly wrapped around Jesse’s wrist or the back of his neck. It’s something Jesse has strangely become used to.

Andrew is also a talker – he makes sure Jesse knows everything about him from his favorite color (red) to his brother’s name (Josh) and everything in between. He has to work to get things out of Jesse, who hates talking about himself, but finds it’s easier when it’s to Andrew, who always looks enraptured by what he has to say. And he’s just generally “mesmerized,” as Emma puts it, by Jesse, always complimenting him and fussing over his loose shirt tags. Jesse’s never felt so overwhelmed and pleased at the same time by one person.

Emma knows this and, unfortunately, she makes it her mission to get something to happen between them.

It all begins with the stupid Ferris wheel.

“Oh, no!” Emma is a horrible actress, really. “I forgot to bring money to buy a ticket for the ride! Darn,” she snaps her fingers dramatically and Jesse shakes his head at her.

“I’ll buy it for you,” Andrew smiles, amused, standing so close to Jesse that he’s practically leaning on him.

“NO!” Emma shouts, making both boys jump. She composes herself and begins walking backwards to her booth. “I mean, no, I'll just – I’ll just go tomorrow!” she fights off more of Andrew’s generosity with violent flaps of her hand in his direction, bids them goodbye, and disappears from view.

“How odd,” Andrew laughs, and Jesse lets out a sigh. Now they’re all alone, which is both great and terrifying. Jesse doesn’t know what to say.

“How’s Josh?” he asks after a moment, and Andrew looks happily surprised that Jesse remembered.

“Great, great, he’s gonna have a baby!” Andrew gasps, turning wider-than-usual eyes on Jesse. “I totally forgot to tell you that, didn’t I, Jess?”

Jesse freezes. Andrew called him Jess. _Jess_. He’s never had a nickname before, except “Curly” or other such things that were equally unappealing in elementary school. He feels strangely pleased and struggles to think of a nickname for Andrew quickly, but nothing seems right. He’s just… Andrew. That’s all he needs. Realizing that he’s been silent for too long, Jesse springs to life with an animated,

“Oh! Good, good, yeah, good, um. Tell him I say congratulations. Babies are good. I mean, like, they don’t judge you or anything and they’re pretty good to tell things to because, you know, they can’t. Uh. Talk,” he babbles. Andrew nods and smiles strangely at him, almost – fondly.

“You’re so weird, Jesse,” he says, voice almost cracking with a laugh as they buy their tickets.

“I know,” Jesse whispers, looking down.

“Hey,” Andrew says as they sit side by side on the Ferris wheel, even though Emma isn’t there and they could have sat across from each other. “I didn’t mean it in a bad way. I told you the second day I knew you that it’s one of the things I like about you.” When Jesse doesn’t respond, Andrew sighs and tentatively grips Jesse’s thin wrist. “It’s like this. I’ve gone through my life always meeting the same types of people – they all do whatever they can to fit in, and they’re stubborn and unapproachable. And then – and then I come here, and by some miracle or stroke of luck I meet you, and – and. You’re different.” He looks at Jesse fiercely, makes sure he’s listening. “You have all of these quirks, Jess, and you love cats and maps and musical theatre, and somehow you’re so, just like…”

“So what, Andrew?” Jesse asks, heart racing at what he’s hearing.

“So _you_ ,” Andrew says, laughing. “You’re just so _Jesse_ and it’s perfect and I’d never trade you in for anyone else.”

“Not even for one of the giant Spongebobs you can win at Emma’s booth?” Jesse’s only half joking and he smiles when Andrew laughs again, shaking his head.

“No one else,” he repeats, squeezing Jesse’s wrist. Jesse’s not sure how to handle the intense gaze Andrew’s giving him, so he turns to look out the window and is surprised to find that they’ve already gone around and are safely back on the ground. Andrew tugs on him and they exit, not breaking contact for a second.

“You make everything go by so quickly,” Jesse says softly, and Andrew pauses, looking back at him. “I didn’t even have time to worry.”

It takes a minute, but the smile that spreads across Andrew’s face takes Jesse’s breath away.  


~~ \--- ~~

Emma bombards him for details immediately the next day (Andrew usually stays until close so she doesn’t get another chance to talk to him), and Jesse squirms uncomfortably under her stare.

“Did you kiss?” she demands, neglecting to keep a hold on the plastic rings in her hand and squawking when they fly everywhere.

“No,” Jesse rolls his eyes, bending down to help her pick them up. “Em, I don’t know what you’re expecting to happen. We’re just friends.”

“Just friends!” Emma throws her hands up and unleashes another rainfall of rings (owners of nearby booths shoot her dirty looks which she returns with a bonus middle finger). “Jesse. Jesse, Jesse, Jesse,” she makes her way over to him, draping herself around his shoulders when she gets there. “Just friends don’t do this!” she moves her hand down to hold his hand and swing it back and forth in hers. “Or this.” She pulls back and makes her eyes as wide as possible, giving him a schmoopy look. “And least of all this.”

“He does not look like that,” Jesse says calmly, handing her the rings and pushing her back to her booth. He hears her mutter “denial” and “idiot” and “tunnel of love” (he’s a bit concerned about that last one) before she shuts up and goes back to work.  


~~\---~~

Jesse looks at the fair map at the end of work that day. There is no tunnel of love. He breathes a sigh of relief.  


~~\---~~

He gets a call from an unfamiliar number that night while sitting on his bed, book in hand and a cat curled up on his pillow. He answers with a frown.

“Uh, hello?”

“Jesse!” the voice on the other line yells happily.

“Andrew?” Jesse pulls the phone away from his ear to stare at it. “How did you – I mean, not that it’s – who gave you my number?”

“Emma!” Andrew sounds immensely pleased with himself and Jesse rolls his eyes. Of course she did. “What are you doing?” he glances down to look at his book, resting on top of his plaid pajama pants. How boring.

“Nothing,” he shrugs, falling back on his pillow (his cat meows, annoyed, but shifts over to lie next to him) to get more comfortable.

“Oh,” Andrew says, and, “How are your cats, Jesse?” after a moment, and Jesse can’t help but smile.

They talk for a while, well after the time Jesse usually tries to be asleep by, and his eyes are slipping closed when he vaguely hears Andrew say something.

“What?” he mumbles, burrowing himself under the covers, the phone held loosely to his ear. He hears a breathy chuckle on the other end of the line.

“I said,” Andrew begins again softly, seeming to weigh his words before he speaks, “that I wish you would let me in, Jesse. I want to know everything about you. I want to know what you worry about so I can help make it less scary. I want to know the things that make you happy so I can do those things as much as possible. I want to learn you inside and out and then relearn you all over again. I want everything.”

“Okay,” Jesse whispers, the phone sliding slightly from his hand. He hears what Andrew is saying but it’s all so much and he wonders if maybe he’s just dreaming. This seems like a dream, or something too good for him to have.

“Okay what?” Andrew asks, the volume of his voice going down to match Jesse’s.

“I want you too,” Jesse mumbles, vaguely realizing that Andrew had never directly said that, before dropping the phone and falling asleep.  


~~\---~~

The next day Jesse is prepared to be even more awkward than usual. Because, well. He told Andrew that he _wants_ him. How is that supposed to be interpreted? Jesse knows how he would interpret it if someone said that to him, and that is in a not at all platonic way. He scolds himself silently when he wakes up, seeing his still open cell phone lying next to his pillow. He’d let Andrew keep him awake too long. Jesse knows he’s dangerous when he’s tired. More open. More (and thank God Andrew wasn’t in the same room with him) cuddly. Yes. Very dangerous.

Okay, but, the thing is. Jesse didn’t even mean it in a sexual way. Yes, that would be nice (he’s a teenage guy, come on), but Jesse meant it the way Andrew was explaining it over the phone. He just wants to know Andrew and to be a part of his life and everything that that means.

“Morning, Jesse!” Emma meets him at the front of the fair for work so they can walk together. He groans and flaps his hand uselessly as they make their way to the booths. “Rough night, huh?” he squints over at her to see her eyebrows raised suggestively.

“Yes,” Jesse deadpans, “I couldn’t stop tossing and turning in my bed.”

“With Andrew?” she cackles, slapping him on the shoulder when he glares at her. It’s much too early for this.

“Whatever, I know you gave him my number, so I’m sure you knew exactly what would happen last night,” Jesse rolls his eyes, jumping over his booth’s counter as Emma goes to stand in hers.

“Duh! You weren’t gonna do it,” she sounds exasperated. “So come on. What did you guys talk about?”

“You’re like the most nosy person I know,” Jesse frowns, adjusting his collar. At Emma’s protests, he shrugs. “You ask me everyday about him. I’ll let you know when there’s something to tell.”  


~~\---~~

Andrew, to Jesse’s surprise and disappointment, stops by Emma’s booth first that day. He tries not to sulk, and Andrew at least waves at him before engaging in conversation with the redhead. Jesse huffs out in annoyance and deals with the children gathering around to pay for darts, temporarily distracting himself. He pointedly doesn’t respond to Emma when she snorts and calls him ridiculous, but he does look up when he hears Andrew say his name.

He sees Andrew bouncing toward him, waving something excitedly in his hand.

“Jesse, look!” he shoves it under Jesse’s nose when he gets there, and it turns out to be a small stuffed rabbit – one of the smaller prizes given at Emma’s booth. Jesse looks at her quickly (she’s smirking) before turning his attention back to Andrew.

“How many rings did you have to toss for it?” he smiles, patting it on the head. Andrew ignores the question and grabs his hand, placing the rabbit in it and wrapping his fingers around it.

“For you,” Andrew steps back proudly. Jesse stares from him, to the rabbit, and back.

“What,” he says. Andrew smiles, face angled toward the ground, and glances up at Jesse from underneath his eyelashes.

“I won it for you,” he repeats. Jesse allows himself another moment of staring before he tries to stutter out his thanks, but Andrew quickly shushes him. “You don’t need to thank me,” he says warmly, hand on Jesse’s arm.

 _You have no idea_ , Jesse thinks helplessly, shifting his gaze to the rabbit’s shiny, plastic eyes. “I have to talk to you,” he says, suddenly desperate to let Andrew know that if this is what he thinks this is – that Andrew is actually going to stick around and this isn’t going to be a temporary summer friendship – then he needs to understand Jesse, and everything that comes along with being in his life. Andrew looks concerned and nods uncertainly, jerking his head to signal that he would be waiting over by the spinning ride next to the booths.

“Will you cover for me? I’ll be quick,” Jesse asks Emma, already inching over to where Andrew is waiting.

“Of course,” she promises, pausing before adding gently, “He’ll understand.” Jesse takes a breath, nods, and makes his way to Andrew.

“Um, okay, so,” Jesse really doesn’t want to beat around the bush and make this harder than it is. Andrew’s eyes are focused on the ride, but when he hears Jesse he turns to him immediately, grabbing his wrist on impulse. His eyes are huge and he’s been the best listener since Jesse’s known him (which is admittedly not that long but it feels like forever), so there’s barely any hesitation before he just starts talking. He explains about his anxiety, about how hard it is to leave the house sometimes, or even how hard it is to leave his room. He talks about his many phobias, one of them being heights, obviously, and how he also has separation anxiety so it’s hard for him to leave Emma and Andrew at the end of the day. He reluctantly even divulges about the therapist he sees once a week because now that’s he’s talking he just can’t seem to stop, and Andrew doesn’t look surprised or weirded out by any of this at all.

“Basically I’m kind of crazy,” Jesse whispers when he’s said all he can, wondering if Andrew can even hear him over the chatter of the fair around them.

“No,” Andrew says finally, looking thoughtful. “You’re not crazy. You’re just Jesse,” he shrugs as if this is a simple explanation. And maybe, Jesse thinks as Andrew smiles tentatively and begins leading him back to Emma and the booths, it is.  


~~\---  
~~

It is, of course, Emma who points out the change in him.

  
“You’re less ‘awkward puppy’ these days,” she notes, giving him a soft smile over their meal. “You just seem a little… happier.” Jesse gives a noncommittal shrug while trying to fend Andrew off of stealing his fries. He supposes she’s right; he should have known that something he was dreading (a job) would have eventually led him to something life-changing (Andrew).

Andrew had entered his life unexpectedly and rooted himself deeply into almost every aspect of Jesse’s existence; they even texted now after work, though Jesse’s hands usually shook too much to bother with long replies (Andrew preferred to talk on the phone but accepted that Jesse wasn’t always keen on doing that). Instead of holing up in his room with his cats all day, Jesse is now forced to deal with people, mostly annoying but with the occasional exception – but he finds that he doesn’t mind work much, even comes to look forward to it as long as he knows Andrew will be there (occasionally Andrew is busy, and Jesse sulks all day, Emma laughing at him the entire time).

“You deserve to be happy,” Andrew comments, off-handedly but with complete sincerity. He has stealthily managed to stretch his arm under Jesse’s to steal his food. Jesse lets him – he’s beginning to realize that things that would normally annoy him seem to be less irritating when done by Andrew. God, he’s such a cliché.

“My therapist said that to me once,” Jesse mumbles. Andrew makes a show of chewing beside him.

“She sounds smart,” he says, grinning at Jesse around a mouthful of fried potato. He laughs as Emma declares her disgust for all men, and Andrew shuffles closer, a warm presence by Jesse’s side.  


~~ \--- ~~

Okay, Jesse may actually be the dumbest person in the world.

He’s not just saying that. Really. Why else would he be in line for a roller coaster even though he’s even more afraid of them than the Ferris wheel? Because he’s stupidly infatuated with Andrew and his big eyes and ridiculous smile and when Andrew had whined, “C’mon, Jess, it’ll be fun! I’ll be there with you the whole time,” Jesse hadn’t been able to say no.

But now they’re at the front of the queue, and Jesse can see the approaching car with the passengers who had just been on it, and Andrew can no longer distract him from the fear bubbling in his chest. As the passengers unbuckle and their lap bars are released, he feels his breathing picking up speed and his heart racing.

“Andrew,” he gasps, trying not to sound as nervous as he feels. Andrew turns to him, grabbing Jesse’s arm when he catches sight of his pale face. “I, um, may be having a panic attack.”

“What!” Andrew looks stricken and grips his arm tighter, pulling Jesse closer. “Oh God, why did you let me take you on this? What do I do? How can I help?” Jesse shakes his head, feeling dizzy, and gestures to the exit, trying to convey silently that he just needs to leave. “Sir,” Andrew tries politely to get the attention of one of the ride attendants standing near the gate. “Sir,” he says more loudly when he gets no response. “We need to leave.”

“We need to check the car to make sure all things are still secure,” the employee replies, not even sparing him a glance.

“No, you don’t understand,” Andrew sounds slightly more aggressive now. “We’re not going on the ride, we just need to get to the exit. Now.” Jesse finds that Andrew taking charge is… strangely attractive, as the only side of him he’s seen so far is Andrew’s infallible kindness.

“Just wait a moment,” the guy turns to glare at Andrew and then continues to ignore him. Andrew turns to Jesse looking frantic, desperate, and Jesse tries to find the words to tell him that he’ll be okay in a few minutes, really, but he can’t. His chest is tight and his throat feels closed up and he _just can’t_.

“It’ll be okay, Jess,” Andrew loosens his grip on Jesse’s arm and pulls him in a little bit closer, almost-but-not-quite hugging him.

The second the gate opens to let the new riders in Andrew pulls Jesse along toward the exit in long, confidant strides, and when they reach the benches where Emma is waiting Andrew has already managed to get Jesse to smile three times.

“You’re like magic,” Jesse mumbles into Andrew’s ear, and he can feel his entire body relaxing into the arm Andrew has slung around his shoulders. “Some kind of British wizard. Like Harry Potter.”

“What spell do I need to use to keep you here forever?” Andrew lowers his voice so Emma can’t hear, but Jesse can still feel her eyes on them. Jesse allows himself to let go, just this once, and fits himself more snugly against Andrew.

“You don’t need a spell for that."  


~~ \--- ~~

“No. No. Emma, you’re crazy, he’s not going to want to do that,” Jesse hisses a few days later, seeing Andrew approaching in the distance. Emma has invaded his booth, as usual, and is trying to persuade him to, in her words, “make a move.” But he’s Jesse. He can’t do these things.

“Come on, Eisenberg, it’s time to nut up or shut up,” Emma retorts, digging her fingers into his shoulders and steering him purposefully toward Andrew, who spots them and waves excitedly. Jesse gives a weak smile in return while grinding through his teeth,

“What if he says no? What if my mom doesn’t like him? I don’t know how to entertain people!”

“Sure you do,” Emma insists, finally releasing him with a small push so he almost crashes into Andrew, who, upon further inspection by Jesse, seems to be wearing a bright pink plaid shirt and exceptionally tight blue jeans.

“You look like cotton candy,” Jesse greets him. Andrew’s eyes widen and he looks down to see his outfit with a smile.

“I suppose you’re right,” he says. “And you look adorable. Why did Emma bring you over here?” Okay, Jesse is horrible at thinking on his feet, so he should probably just do this and get it over with. Maybe Andrew will say no. But what if he says yes? Jesse can’t decide which would be worse.

“You should, um. You should come over for dinner.” he mumbles, a small part of him hoping that Andrew won’t hear. Andrew, unfortunately, has some kind of super-human hearing ability when it comes to Jesse and immediately perks up.

“Really?” he sounds far too delighted about this. Jesse nods reluctantly, wishing he could stop worrying and be as excited as Andrew. They agree to do it that night, though Jesse hasn’t even asked his mother yet.

“I’ll come at six, if that’s all right?” Andrew asks, and Jesse makes a vague noise of agreement, already retreating inside of his head to think about all the ways this could go wrong.  


~~\---~~

Predictably, Andrew shows up early that night before Jesse is even downstairs to greet him. He hears Andrew’s cheerful voice and freezes in the middle of smoothing the wrinkles in his shirt away. Abandoning his attempts at looking any nicer than usual, Jesse bolts for the stairs, sidestepping his younger sister as she steps out into the hallway. Hallie Katie raises her eyebrows at his harried looking appearance and continues on her way. Jesse briefly wonders if his mom had told her to stay out of the way before he hears her calling him to come down.

“Hi,” Jesse says nervously when he steps into the living room where Andrew is waiting.

“Hey!” Andrew smiles and moves toward him automatically, and Jesse is pleased to see that he’s made an attempt to tame his hair (however unsuccessful that attempt was). Jesse is suddenly overcome with a strong sense of relief, because this is _Andrew_ and being around him has always had a way of making him more relaxed.

“Hi,” Jesse says more calmly this time, and then rolls his eyes when he realizes he’s already said that.

“Boys!” his mom calls from the kitchen. “Come and clean yourselves up for dinner!” Jesse smiles slightly at Andrew and receives a brilliant grin in return as he leads him through the house, pausing to wash their hands by the sink. Jesse takes a deep breath before heading into the dining room, wondering how, again, he managed to get himself into this situation.  


~~\---~~

It’s almost ten by the time Jesse’s mom decides that she’s ready to let Andrew out of her sight. Unsurprisingly, he had charmed her and she had already told him that he was welcome any time.

“So that was fun,” Jesse deadpans as he and Andrew step outside onto the front porch. Andrew grins.

“Your mum is awesome!” he says. “Though I wouldn’t expect any different considering the amazing son she has.” Jesse can feel himself turning red and tries to think of something coherent to say back, but before he can, Andrew’s holding his hand. Not just his wrist like he usually does, but. His actual hand. Jesse looks up quickly – Andrew has that fond smile on his face again, the one he reserves just for Jesse.

“No fair,” Jesse says quietly, comforted by the warmth in his hand. “You seduced me at my job and made my mother love you.” Andrew blinks, eyes huge, before he bursts out laughing, ribbons of mirth that make Jesse’s mouth twitch upwards, even though he’s completely serious.

“Sorry to say I’m not really sorry at all,” Andrew pulls Jesse closer, his grin fading into a soft smile, and in the blink of an eye, he’s tilting his head down to press his lips against Jesse’s.

“Mm.” Jesse makes a small noise, hesitantly putting his hands on Andrew’s shoulders while Andrew’s migrate to his hips. It’s nice, standing there wrapped up in the person he’s had feelings for for so long, but, the thing is… “Um, okay, this is going to be embarrassing,” Jesse pulls back slightly, Andrew’s eyes and lips and everything even more overwhelmingly attractive close up. “I’ve never kissed anyone before, so…”

“Really?” Andrew sounds slightly breathless even though they were only kissing for a minute at best. “But how? I’ve wanted to kiss you since we met.” He leans in to brush their noises together and Jesse’s glad it’s dark out because he knows his face is turning bright red.

“Well, you’re you, aren’t you?” Jesse mumbles, putting a hand behind Andrew’s neck and pulling him in closer for another kiss. He counts on Andrew to take the lead because, again, he’s inexperienced. One of Andrew’s hands moves to his lower back and pulls him in a little closer until their bodies are flush together, and Jesse finds that, strangely, this doesn’t make him uncomfortable at all. Andrew moves his lips against Jesse’s until they find a slow rhythm of gentle kisses and occasional lingering sucks on each other’s lower lips.

Andrew is the one to pull away first, keeping his hands latched around Jesse to keep him in place and a dazzling smile on his face. Jesse smiles widely back, all teeth and dimples and he really can’t believe that just happened.

“That was nice,” he says, and of course, Andrew throws his head back and laughs.

“It was, but I have to get home,” he sounds regretful. “My mum will kill me if I’m not home by eleven.”

“Okay,” Jesse reluctantly puts his arms back to his sides, releasing his – boyfriend? Special friend? Were they dating now? What did people do in these situations? Jesse knows he’s seconds away from thinking himself into a panic attack and that’s when he feels the warmth of Andrew’s lips on his again, reassuring.

“Don’t worry.” Andrew says when he pulls back. “That’s an order.”

“Yes, sir,” Jesse rolls his eyes, Andrew laughs, and Jesse realizes – everything will be fine because they’re still _them_ , they’re still Andrew and Jesse, two stupid boys who met at a stupid fair and somehow fell for each other and this is new but somehow, it’s not because they’ve been dancing around this for weeks and – they’re finally falling into place, exactly where they should be.

Jesse goes back into his house when Andrew drives off, smiling the whole way upstairs. He sees Hallie Kate peeking her curly head around the corner, staring at him.

“What?” he asks defensively.

“You totally kissed that dude,” she says, a smirk playing on her lips.

“What – I – I did no such thing,” Jesse stutters unconvincingly, rushing into his room and leaving his sister in the hall.

He flops down onto his bed, a stupid smile on his face. He can’t believe this is finally happening. He laughs a little when he pictures what Emma’s reaction will be, her happy face, her excited shouts. Tomorrow will be good.  


~~ \--- ~~

Tomorrow is not good.

Because, inevitably, Jesse thinks. And thinks and thinks and over thinks. And he remembers that Andrew had said he was visiting here for the summer – and summer is almost over. They’ve known each other since late June, around when Jesse started his job and Andrew entered his life, and now it’s early August, and Jesse will be going to the college twenty minutes from his house and Andrew will be – a lot more than twenty minutes away.

Jesse hasn’t heard of many long distance relationships working out. Especially since he definitely doesn’t have the money to visit Andrew in England and he doubts Andrew could visit him either.

And – this is the worst thought – what if Andrew thinks this is just a summer thing? What if he goes back and forgets all about Jesse and deletes his number and wants nothing to do with him? Great. He’s only just woken up and Jesse already needs Tylenol for his headache.

His mother greets him normally enough when he comes down to head out to work, but there’s something a little too casual in the way she tries to keep slipping Andrew into their brief conversation. After the fifth “Remember what Andrew said last night? Oh he is such a charming boy!” Jesse’s had enough.

“I gotta get to work,” he says, raising his eyebrows. His mother is now blocking the doorway.

“When do you think he’ll come by again?” she presses on. “He seems like he’s really good for you…”

“I don’t know, mom,” Jesse sighs. “Can I please just go?” she steps out of his way reluctantly, and Jesse spends the entire ride to work thinking about how much he’s going to miss Andrew’s constant presence by his side.  


~~ \--- ~~

“All right, Eisenberg, Andrew already texted me about the dinner last night but he won’t tell me about the kiss! I need _specifics_ ,” Emma pounces on him the second he arrives at their booths. Jesse stares at her, slightly alarmed by how gleeful she looks. “Come on! How long was it? Tongue?”

“Emma,” Jesse pulls a face. “That’s none of your business.” Emma squawks and plants her hands on her slim hips.

“It’s completely my business! It’s all thanks to me that you guys hooked up.”

“We didn’t ‘hook up,’” Jesse says, rolling his eyes. “And we had some… development on our own, you know.”

“Whatever, you owe like 2/3 of this relationship to me then,” she insists. When he doesn’t respond and Emma sees the look on his face, she softens. “Something wrong? Shouldn’t you be like, puking rainbows or something right now? Celebrating your beautiful gay love?” Jesse chuckles.

“I am happy, it’s just,” he fiddles with his hands and wishes this wasn’t so complicated. “Andrew’s going to be leaving soon, and…” a look of comprehension dawns on Emma’s face, and once again she’s looking sympathetic – that look Jesse hates. “Forget it.”

“No, I understand,” Emma says. _No, you don’t_ , Jesse thinks bitterly. _You don’t understand how he makes me feel and how easy it is to be around him. Nothing’s easy for me but he manages to surprise me, every time. You will never understand what it’s like to lose Andrew the way I’m losing him_.

He doesn’t say any of this, of course, because he doesn’t want to make Emma feel bad and he knows she’s just trying to help.

“Listen,” she says, pulling him close and seeming pleased when he doesn’t flinch away. “It’s gonna be hard. But I know Andrew will do everything he can to keep in touch with you every day. He’s waited months for you, Jesse,” she smiles, nudging him in the ribs. “He’s not giving you up that easily.”

“You guys talking about me?” Andrew suddenly appears out of nowhere, as he usually seems to. He grins at Emma and his smile softens when he looks at Jesse, hands shoved in his pockets and eyes all crinkly and stupid and Jesse really doesn’t know how he resisted Andrew for this long.

“What’s it to you?” Emma asks, releasing Jesse and giving him a slight push in Andrew’s direction. Andrew grabs his arm and pulls him in easily, lips meeting his firmly before pulling away and wow, okay. Jesse’s not used to being able to kiss Andrew whenever he wants. He could get used to this. Hopefully there won’t be many in front of Emma, however, who is watching them with a smug smile on her face.

“I just like to know when people are talking about how amazing I am,” Andrew says in his snootiest, poshest voice and Emma and Jesse roll their eyes at each other.

“ _Actually_ , we were just thinking that me and Jesse should take a day off to hang out with you before you have to go back to England,” Emma invents, and Andrew looks surprised, winding his arm around Jesse’s shoulders and pulling him closer, something he seems to do without even thinking about it.

“Sure,” Andrew says, shrugging, and Jesse turns his face away, feeling hurt; Andrew sounds so nonchalant, like it’s no big deal that soon he won’t be around and they won’t be able to see each other every day. Emma seems to notice this and presses on.

“And, like, you guys haven’t even had a real date yet.”

“There’s plenty of time for that,” Andrew smiles, squeezing Jesse’s shoulder.

“When are you going back to England?” Jesse finally asks, the question he’s been dreading the answer to.

“A couple of weeks,” Andrew replies. “The twentieth of this month.” Jesse’s muscles tighten, causing Andrew’s eyes to drop to him in concern. “What’s wrong?”

“Um, that’s. I mean, that’s so soon,” Jesse mumbles. “I guess we’d better make the best of it.” He can’t understand why Andrew looks so confused. Doesn’t he understand how he makes Jesse feel? Had Jesse misinterpreted this whole thing?

“Yeah,” Andrew says after a moment. “Yeah, I guess we’d better do that.”  


~~ \--- ~~

As the date of Andrew’s departure draws closer and closer (Jesse tortures himself by marking it on his calendar and counting down the days with a sad face on each little square), Jesse finds himself withdrawing back into the way he was before Emma and Andrew and this incredible summer; waking up for work is miserable and when he gets home he just wants to hole up in his room and sleep for days.

He knows he’s being dramatic – he shouldn’t be this attached to someone who he’s only known for a couple of months but there’s something about Andrew that makes Jesse feel like he’s known him for his whole life, or that they were just waiting to find each other.

Emma and Jesse take August nineteenth off from work – Emma actually wanted Jesse and Andrew to spend the day alone together, which Jesse would have also liked, but Emma is friends with them too and Jesse knows that she’ll do her best to distract him from the inevitable thoughts he was going to be having. It’s their last day with Andrew.

They meet up at Jesse’s house – his mother nearly has a heart attack when she sees Andrew, who seems equally as excited to see her again and even greets her with a hug. She tries to usher him inside for something to eat (“You’re so _skinny_ , Andrew!” “I just have a fast metabolism, Mrs. Eisenberg, really!”), but Jesse gives her a look and she relents, allowing them to pile into Emma’s car since it’s the roomiest.

“So where to?” Andrew asks, trying to make himself comfortable, but – he’s squished between Emma and Jesse in the front, refusing to have anyone sit in the back by themselves.

“Anywhere but the fair,” Emma says, starting the car and accidentally elbowing Andrew in the side. “Sorry. We need to go somewhere new, make some memories other than the place where we’ve been working all summer.”

Andrew smiles over at Jesse. “That’s okay. I’ve got enough memories of the fair to last me forever.” Jesse blushes but smiles too, leaning his head against the window to cool off his burning face.

“Well if you two aren’t coming up with any bright ideas I’m just gonna take us to the center of the city and we can walk around,” Emma adjusts her rearview mirror and takes off, the bumps in the road causing Jesse and Andrew’s knees to knock together painfully. Jesse finds that he doesn’t mind at all.  


~~ \--- ~~

The first thing they do when they reach the stretch of the city that has tons of stores and venders on either side is get ice cream – Andrew’s treat. Jesse is thoroughly embarrassed and secretly pleased when Andrew gets into a (loud) argument with Emma over what Jesse’s favorite ice cream is – vanilla, and Andrew insists it from the start. He hands the cone to Jesse with a dramatic flourish before tangling his fingers in Jesse’s and pulling him to start walking along. Emma huffs in annoyance that she was wrong but falls into step with them, strawberry soft serve already melting onto her hands.

They walk around for hours, stopping occasionally at different stores and attracting strange looks from some people – Jesse would like to think it’s more due to Emma’s obnoxiousness than him and Andrew but he’s not positive. Though Jesse and Andrew are acting as couply as ever – this is the first full day they’ve had together that didn’t include Jesse in a booth for hours at a time – Emma doesn’t feel like a third wheel at all. She’s their biggest supporter, smiling knowingly whenever Andrew pulls Jesse closer or places a kiss on his temple.

Their last stop ends up being, of all places, the college Jesse will be attending in a matter of weeks, standing tall and intimidating in the downtown area of the city. He leans against the stonewall that surrounds it, thinks about how soon he’ll be focusing on studying and not panicking while Andrew is thousands of miles away. Andrew stands next to him, a hand on his lower back, watching him silently.

“I’m gonna run across the street and get a smoothie,” Emma announces, edging away. “Any requests?” Andrew shakes his head and Jesse murmurs a “no thanks,” wondering if this is just another one of Emma’s plans to get them alone for a while.

“You okay?” Andrew asks, running his free hand down Jesse’s arm, stopping at his wrist and pulling it until Jesse’s facing him. He leans down until their foreheads are pressing together and Jesse feels… safe.

“I’m just gonna miss you,” he admits, clutching at Andrew’s shirt and pouting slightly, though he doesn’t mean to. He knows Andrew will just think it’s cute or something ridiculous like that. “I’m used to having you around and – and people always leave. I was hoping you wouldn’t have to,” the last part is a mere whisper off of Jesse’s lips, which Andrew quickly captures in a kiss.

“I won’t be gone long,” he says when he pulls back, looking worried. Jesse crinkles his nose in confusion.

“What do you mean? You’re going back to England tomorrow.”

“Yeah, but I’ll be back a few days later.” Andrew sounds like it’s obvious, but Jesse is stunned. “Did I not tell you?!” Andrew has a frantic look on his face and, uh, _no_ , Andrew seems to have omitted something in their daily conversations. “Jesse!” Andrew laughs and kisses him again, and again, and again.

“Wha – mmf!” Jesse’s eyes are wide and he is really, really confused now. “I don’t –”

“Jesse!” Andrew yells again happily. “You thought I was leaving for good!”

“Well, yes,” Jesse huffs. Andrew grins and pulls him closer.

“I got accepted into university here!”

“ _Where_ here?” Jesse can’t comprehend this, can’t think straight, can’t – he’s not losing Andrew, not completely, not yet.

“ _Here_ here!” Andrew points to the building they’re standing in front of and – no, it can’t be, this is too good to be true. Things like this don’t happen to Jesse. This isn’t some teenage love movie. Except.

Except, maybe it is, because Andrew’s leaning in to kiss him again, but they’re both smiling and it’s kind of hard to kiss this way but Jesse doesn’t _care_ , because it’s him and Andrew and the only thing between them now is a schedule and that’s nothing because Andrew isn’t leaving.

“Get a room,” Emma says fondly as she reappears, pink smoothie in her hand and a huge smile on her face.

“Never!” Andrew declares, making a show of putting his hands on Jesse’s cheeks and attacking his mouth. As Emma laughs and Andrew attempts to snatch her smoothie for a sip, Jesse turns back to look briefly at the college building again. It looks a lot less intimidating now – instead of something representing the different lives he’d thought he and Andrew were going to live after this summer, now it’s instilling some sort of calm in him.

He’s not panicking, he doesn’t want to be alone in his room, he’s not even dreading going home without Andrew by his side tonight.

It feels something like hope.


End file.
